Just Keep on Keeping

hey, here i am again. sitting in front of my laptop and drown in the silence. i just don't know what to do. i'm bored and feels like i wanna throw everything in front of  me. i'm feeling strange and so random today. i don't why.

i really wanna hang out and have fun with my friends out there, but sadly, my uncle doesn't allow me to go out and today is raining so cats and dogs. i feel so unmood today. i don't know what i have to write on this blog. there's no inspiration comes to my mind. 

the exams week is over. and now i'm waiting for my odd semester results. i'm so sure that i didn't success in physics, math, and chemistry. perhaps i'm too pessimistic, but i think it's true. Chemistry, physics, math, biology are my biggest enemy, i don't even know why i can be in this science class. everytime i get a bad mark on them, my parents never gets mad or anything. it sounds pretty good, huh? of course it is! because they know natural science is my biggest weakness. you know what, when i see my clever classmates, i'm feeling so down. i don't even know how they can be so confident in solving all the problems. and everytime i try to solve them, my "clever" classmates always said "NOOO IT'S NOT LIKE THAT! IT'S WRONG" you know what, it makes me so down, i always think that i'm the most stupid person in this world. 

i hate it when my classmates get a good mark while i don't. i hate it when they laugh and scream a loud while i'm drowning in tears because of my bad marks in natural sciences. i hate it when they didn't there for helping me to slove those silly problems, so i look like a stupid dumb silly thing at that class. i hate it when my teachers ask me to solve the problems when (maybe) they know i can never do that.

i feel like i've been underestimated. and my spirit is gone, yeah, my mom is gone. she's the only one i turn to everytime i get this silly feeling, she can give me a positive energy so i can stand up and face the world again. but now, nobody's there for me, nobody catches me when i fall. and i just can keep this feeling. keep, keep and keep on keeping this silly thing!