I doubt it

Hey, good evening, dear. how are you? hope you are doing fine along these days. and me? well, as usual nothing's change, i'm fine and still the one i used to be hahaa. well, i don't know what i should write about, i'm trying to tell you everything. i don't know why this blank page always makes me speechless!

well, you know, i just wonder where i should bring my life. i have a goal but i have no idea i can reach it or not. you know i want to be a travel reporter or journalist, but i just feel like i don't have any talent on it, i have that kinda passion but there are some things i don't have in order to be a journalist or reporter. ther first one is that i'm not good at writing, like others who have passion on journalistic, i also haven't got any chance to do so. i really wanna be a journalist but i don't why i can't do that :(. i used to have an idea to make a fashion blog, but i don't have a camera for taking photos and also good outfit for that. :(

please, pray for me! pleaseeeeeee. i hope this blog can be useful. i hope someday my blog doesn't contain unimportant stuff like this! like what i always write down here!

Homesick

Hello my silent world! how are things going on? i miss you so much, it has been kinda 2 mothns since the last time i wrote here. i'm doing quite fine here, as usual, just so many stories left because i'm kinda busy writting here hahhaaa. Anyway, i don't know what to talk about actually, i mean, so many stories left and i don't know where to start. Well, i'm trying to start it all now, and i'm going to tell you how i'm feeling about being "stranger" in someone's city.

As i told you before, i'm going to collage, it's called Padjadjaran University or known as "UNPAD". It is located in Jatinangor which is so far away from my home. I rent a room (kosan) here and live alone, i do all the works by myself. At the first time, i felt terrible, homesick, and little bit stressful, i just felt like i was born with no family, because there was no one i knew here, i had nobody to take care of me, no one reminds me to have my lunch, i skipped breakfast almost everyday. i miss the way my grandma warns me to eat. By the way, there was something happened to me that made me feel so terrible. It was when the "Pre-orientation" held. The comittee told us to come at 6 .a.m; however, i slept at the midnight the night before the event held, so i got up right at 6 .a.m (which had been told that i must come at that time), i brushed my teeth and washed my face immedietly, i decided not to take a bath, and of course i skipped my breakfast. i ran quickly while trying to find "ojeg" to go by. When i got in to the "ojeg", i asked the rider to take me to UNPAD, when i arrived there i saw so many freshmen had already been there. The events held from 6 a.m until 6 p.m, and along that day, i hadn't eat anything 'cause i didn't bring some foods. I felt so weak, and couldn't stand anymore, wishing i could call my grandma to bring me some foods (because that's i usually do when i left something from home). On my way to home (kosan), i came by for buying some foods for dinner, it was 6 p.m, the owner of the "warteg" saw my pale face, and she was like"are you okay? i'll make u a glass of hot tea", she was kind, i mean that was the first time i found someone who was really nice to a stranger like me. I drank the tea, and almost cried, because usually in this kind of situation i had my grandma or my aunt to turn to, but at that time, i had nobody, after i drank the tea and bought some foods, i continued my journey to the house, and when i arrived, i went to my room, locked it and began to cry, i texted my boyfriend and said i wanted to go home. He suddenly called me, and calmed me down, gave me some spirits, and told me that life must go on, his voice is just like the one sent from heaven, his tones of worries actually made me became so special, i couldn't stop crying not just because i was homesick but also because he showed me that he cares, i've actually never heard him so worry like that. I was feeling glad that i had him by my side. Though i couldn't see him everyday, but i just had no idea why i always feel his presence everyday. 

Well, i think that's what i can tell you today, i'm so sleepy. Thank you for listening me, BYE! and see you next time, dear :*